Mounting Pressure and My First T-Shirt

With a much needed break from blogging last night, I was bombarded with angry followers looking for their Tycoon fill. I do apologize for an unannounced night off, but I have too much integrity to post a sub par blogging. It would be an insult to my intelligently superior followers. But knowing that so many followers are eagerly awaiting each new post is a bit overwhelming and puts the pressure on me to continue to outperform myself. I have resorted to substance abuse to deal with the need to constantly outdo myself. I am thisclose to pulling a Dave Chappelle and disappearing into Africa for 6 months. On the bright side, knowing my musings are such a delight to so many and a major part of their lives has led me into investigating ways to supplement my tycooning income. I am currently in the process of designing a Tycoon clothing line and just finished my first t-shirt design. Without further ado, here it is, my first t-shirt:

The Front (centered on the chest)




The Back (centered on the back)



Please leave your orders in the comments section. The initial printing of the shirts will likely be on white, but other colors may be discussed.

I'll leave y'all today with a short musing about my uncle. I cannot figure out how he and I came from the same gene pool. He works at the mini storages because he couldn't get work doing anything else (ok, so are we similar in some ways) and begged his way to getting work. On the days we both work, we usually eat lunch at my grandmother's house, and over the past nearly 2 months I have been blown away by him (not that he wasn't like this before, it's just seeing him much more regularly than before has open my eyes even more). He wears overalls and the ugliest fucking shirts ever every.single.day. He prefers to communicate in a serious of unintelligible grunts and redneck muttering that makes Boomhauer sound well-spoken. He likes to cheer for Ole Miss despite being from Starkville and never going to Ole Miss, or any college for that matter. It probably is because of their history in waving the confederate flag. The other day he had on an Ole Miss visor turned backwards...and he probably wore it that way sitting in the office all day. Just last year he spent a month sick and laying in bed refusing to go to the hospital because he didn't have health insurance nor the money to pay for a huge hospital bill. He is the ideal person who should be very pro any kind of national health care program, but he's too ignorant to realize that these "liberals" might be the way to go for someone making $35,000 a year and without health insurance. But then he'd have to vote with the majority of black people, and white trash tend to be racists because it makes them feel like they are at least better than somebody. So much so, that he'd rather lie in bed feeling like Hell for a month not knowing what is causing his illness instead of voting with "them". I mean, have a good reason for picking your side dumbshit, whether it's the Republican or Democratic side. He's not even religious, so he can't even play the religion card. He revels in his ignorance and doesn't even have the tact to give off an attempt at decency. While he eats lunch, he sounds like Mr. Ed eating a fucking apple, and then he starts making some noise like a cat coughing up a hairball at the table. He's loud. This is about the time I'm ready to stab him in the throat with my knife. All in all, he is the reason that the southern redneck stereotype exists. I have never seen such a perfect storm of everything repulsive rolled into one human being...and we can from the same gene pool. God knows how much business he costs the mini storage empire by revolting potential renters. When I am in sole control the mini storages, such charity cases will not be supported. I got an empire to expand.

Finally, tonight I saw "Semi-Pro". Don't go see it. Shawn, I am never believing you when you say a movie with Will Ferrell "has to have a couple of funny parts". Although, attending the movie did allow me to scope out the next terrible movie by someone who used to be in funny movies. I present to you Mike Myers' "The Love Guru":



Really, who greenlights this shit? Of course 2 chicks behind us thought "Semi-Pro" was funny.

Stay Classy Starkville,
The Tycoon