One Of Those Days

Hot. Humid. Boring. Sad. Frustrating. Yeah, it was one of those days. And to think, things started off so well when at 9:30 I was unexpectedly treated to a NBA Stars v. NBA moms Family Feud. Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, Richard Jefferson, David Lee, Cuttino Mobley, and Grant Hill battle their mothers neck-and-neck and came out victorious. The best moment was Chris Bosh absolutely owning the Final Feud, only to almost have Dwight Howard blow it when he barely netted his necessary 36 points to reach the magical 200 needed. I mean, Dwight didn't even answer all 4 questions and only surpassed the 200 point plateau when his final answered question put him over. Moral of the story: go to college America. Just 1 year at Georgia Tech gave Chris the skills necessary to quickly think on his feet and demolish the Family Feud, while Dwight jumped straight to the NBA from high school and seemed lost and confused. Now I'm not saying a college degree (or a law degree for that matter) guarantees you a job, just that you will be able to think more quickly on your feet when faced with guessing the most popular answers among the 100 polled members of the public with $20,000 on the line.

Some of my long-time readers may remember "Tittie Money" from one of my early bloggings. Well today my worst nightmare was realized. 95 degrees. Humid as shit. Overweight black woman sweating. Yeah. I briefly thought about just offering to pay her rent for her and letting her keep her sweaty $20s, but then I came to my senses and realize that I don't have any money. After she left the office, I frantically searched for Lysol, but could only find insect killer. I doused my hands and then was just very careful to not start licking my fingers the rest of the day. I'm kinda feeling a little sickly to my stomach, but I'm gonna try to finish my blogging.

Today I may have missed out on my kindred spirit in this world. She came racing into the mini storage right at noon, catching me just before lunch. She asked if I was just working for the summer or what, and I briefly informed her that I was indefinitely employed but looking for a way to expand my empire, preferably to the West Coast. She then informed me that she too was in Starkville due to family reasons, but wanted to leave ASAP and preferably to the West Coast. This was when our eyes met and a spark was ignited. She is too "cosmopolitan" for Starkville. So she was 60 and stuck in Starkville with her dying husband, and counting down the days until he finally kicked the bucket and she could take off. Our goals were/are basically the exact same. And then she was gone, before I could even proposition her about becoming my Sugar Mama/ticket out of Starkville once her hubby passed. Now I am again left with the ever-present mini storage ethics question of whether I pull her number off her file and see if she's interested.

So while I was typing this a commercial came on for Hanes panties. It closed "Hanes for panties that won't ride up. Stay wedgie free with Hanes." No reason I just typed that except for that it struck me as humorous in the moment.

Desperately seeking a vacation,
The Tycoon

Signs I'm Not As Cool As You Think

I spend days mulling over possible fantasy baseball trades.
I work at a mini storage.
I sit on my bed for hours on end when not at the mini storage.
I actually have seriously considered writing a movie about the current state of my life.
I have convinced myself I could make it good.
I still plan on making a blog t-shirt.
I wonder if writers know something they've written kinda sucks, but they have to release it anyway.
I know when I've written a less than awesome blog entry.
I try to not publish unrealized blog ideas for fear of offending my loyal followers.
I haven't been able to put together a quality blog posting in over a week, and it actually is bothering me.
I haven't had anything exciting enough happen to me in over a week worth blogging about.
I am already counting down the days until "Pineapple Express" comes out (8/8/08 if you are wondering).
I spend hours perfecting my Netflix queue.
I haven't been to a concert since December 2007 :(
I look up songs that I like from TV shows and movies.
I think one of my 'dream' jobs would be to be the guy who helps picking out music for movies.
I can have my opinion of a movie swayed by a good use of music.
I think I could be better than half the people on "Last Comic Standing" with a little work on my delivery.
I have to resort to gimmicks in order to put together a blog posting.
I think "You Don't Mess With The Zohan" looks incredibly bad.
I watched the entire MTV Movie Awards tonight. Yes, the whole thing.
I am thinking of becoming a career student.
I still probably won't be able to get a real job.
I sometimes like to watch foreign movies without subtitles and guess at what they are saying.
I am already stockpiling Halloween costume ideas.
I sometimes play 6 Degrees of Separation with myself.
I have played Scategories twice in the past week.
I allow my self-confidence levels to be governed by the quality of my blog entries.
I think H3's are the biggest douchebag vehicles in the world...and it's not even close.
I am not gonna stop coming up with reasons I'm not as cool as you think until the video below is finished uploading, and that's a promise.
I think my creative juices have slowed to a crawl.
I am in need of a muse to restart my creative juices, but have no prospects.
I think Renee Zellweger looked damn good in her early movies, like "Love and a .45". What happened to her?
I think the video just finish uploading, notice the excellent use of music, especially M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" during the last minute or so.




Looking for my muse in Starkville,
The Tycoon