CSI: Starkville

I have been a bit deceiving to my loyal followers over the past week and a half or so. Not really deceiving, but not informing you of my true whereabouts and going ons. A few days after the death of Another Kitty, Other Kitty approached me with concerns that foul play may have been involved with her offspring's passing. Finding it impossible to see a mother in this perpetual state of unknowing, I swore to her that I'd find Another Kitty's killer if foul play was involved. The following photo might be a bit much for the weak of stomach, as it is the death place of Another Kitty and the chalk outline is still visible. I hope you all understand why I could not discuss the case until now.




I began my investigation by making a list of suspects.
Suspect #1: Lint. Motive: Obvious disdain of another kitty (no pun intended) invading his home.
Suspect #2: Lauren. Motive: Attention seeker.
Suspect #3: Other Kitty. Motive: Crazy female made even crazier by crazy hormones.

After closely watching several episodes of CSI, I carefully removed all hairs I found in the vicinity of the crime. Hairs from all 3 suspects were found under the edge of the bed. After interrogating all 3 suspects, they all provided legitimate reasons why their hair could be found in the area. Other Kitty has made a temporary home with Another Kitty under the bed, it was in Lauren's room that Another Kitty's body was found (though she doesn't actually live here anymore...?), and Lint often napped in Lauren's room in an effort to avoid any and all contact with other people and animals. This was an immediate red flag, as it indicated a possible motive for Lint to kill Another Kitty - he was protecting his territory.

Next the cause of death was determined. The toxicology reports were negative. It appeared to my eyes that Another Kitty was suffocated, as his mouth was left agape, gasping for air as if smothered or strangled. Again, this fact pointed towards Lint. His cold demeanor and ample girth would be a perfect combination in smothering a poor young defenseless kitty. Other Kitty seemed much too distraught for this to have been her own work, and Lauren just didn't seem like a kitty killer.

Finally, Other Kitty has been extra aggressive toward Lint lately, which led me to believe that maybe she knew something she just couldn't get across to me in our conversations, and she was trying to express herself through aggression. At this point I took Lint in again for questioning. He coldly told me he did in fact smother Another Kitty, and that he'd been planning it ever since Another Kitty was born, but wanted to wait until Another Kitty was old enough to know what happened. Other Kitty took a break from nursing and laying with Another Kitty to go beg someone into giving her some delicious cat food at around 10 pm on Saturday April 5. It was at this time Lint seized his opportunity. Another Kitty thought Lint was coming to be the "fun uncle" and play with him, and instead Lint overpowered him and smothered him with his considerable fluff. Lint was denied bail and is currently awaiting trial.



In other news, if you like your music leaning toward the electronic-indie-r.ock-pop (think LCD Soundsystem or Hot Chip) then you are doing yourself a disservice by not getting the new Cut Copy album "In Ghost Colours".

And some more intelligent insights from the Opinion Page of the Clarion Ledger. Allen Wilkinson of Brandon writes that if Obama doesn't like the use of his middle name, then he should go legally change it. Wait, what? I know opinions are supposed to not be right or wrong, because, well, they are opinions, but Allen's opinion is about as wrong of an opinion as you'll find. Also, this wholly illustrates the ignorance of Americans that a man's middle name is a factor in your presidential vote. head-->wall

Your Kitty Killer Hunter,
The Tycoon