so... is this when "the musings of a mini storage tycoon" officially jumped the shark?
it was a good ride w***..."
So it's recently been blatantly brought to my attention that law school might not have been one of the better decisions I've made. How the fuck the patent office rationalizes the stance of many of the supervisors saying that they prefer to hire people who don't have law degrees and then pay for them to go to law school at night baffles me. They are worried that after training or after a year, the law degree holding patent examiners will bolt. NEWSFLASH TO THE WORLD, THE LEGAL JOB MARKET RIGHT NOW IS FUCKING SHITTY. The patent office offers examiners the opportunity to sign a 4 year commitment in exchange for a significant signing bonus. When I stressed that I would willingly sign the commitment I am told that many people break their commitment and just forfeit back their signing bonus. Well fuck, how am I suppose to answer that? All I can do is tell them that I wouldn't do that.
So now I've spent the last week writing cover letters for non-law positions apologizing for my misjudgment in obtaining and law degree and subsequently passing the bar, and attempting to persuade them that I legitimately am interested in some kind of real career employment that doesn't require a law degree. On top of that, making $2000 a month at the mini storages won't exactly make living easy when I can no longer defer loans. Throw in the fact that every night I sit by myself in my room on the bed and stare at fantasy baseball stats until I fall asleep, my social outlets consist of being the 3rd wheel to my sister and her boyfriend, and I am becoming incredibly comfortable drinking by myself, and my life essentially blows. Not to mention the only people who hang around Starkville after college are the burnouts and idiots who never had much hope of getting out anyway, and that now includes me who really doesn't have the excuse that i'm only here temporarily since my best job prospect just told me I wasn't among the top 400 motherfuckers they are hiring for the year. My Starkville stay might as well be permanent. I have no career prospects on the horizon. The patent examiner job was my "light at the end of the tunnel" which allowed me to be bitter but humorous about it, now I am just straight bitter and angry. I can take a legal related job (if someone will give a "lawyer" a sub-lawyer position - i.e. legal assistant, paralegal) and hope that it turns into something, but surviving on $15/hour won't be fun with a full load of student loans. I can get some temporary gig doing document review and hope something plays out. But really, I don't have the money to pick up and move back to Portland and do something like that right now, especially if I have to take a chance on temp jobs. Every recruiter I speak with about engineering or law basically tell me the same story about how they have stacks upon stacks of very qualified people with years of working experience and that I can send them my stuff, but the chances of them finding me anything are slim to none. So yeah, fuck the world.
Anyone ever thought that maybe the ABA should limit the number of lawyers that enter schools? There are law schools out there with 300-500 students PER CLASS. That's ridiculous. What about hacking off the bottom 50 or so law schools in the country? You don't have med schools with average MCAT scores under 20, so why should you have law schools with entire student bodies with an average LSAT under 150? Wouldn't this solve a lot of the problems as far as job availability and turn around the recent trend of law students defaulting on loans? Wouldn't this bump up the pay for DAs and PDs? You have 100 people applying for a $36K/year job in the Portland DAs office. For someone with at least 7 years of higher education, that pay is revoltingly low. I know that master-level biomedical engineering students are extremely low-balled when they are offered $37K/year. I mean, does someone really want to go make $35K/year to be a DA in Pendleton, OR? Currently there are so many lawyers, that they know they can continually pay seriously low wages and still have out-of-work lawyers lined up out the door begging for the job. Is this what the ABA wants? Or do they want to reestablish the lawyer as a prestigious profession?
Shouldn't the state bars just toughen standards you say? Fuck no, at that point you already have X amount of students up to their eyeballs in student loan debt. At that point, it's too late. Now I would imagine that every student at a top 100 law school would still find a spot in a school somewhere, even if it's at a slightly lesser school, but wouldn't you much rather have reassess your life goals after undergrad when you are generally either (1) debt free or (2) have debt that pales in comparison to law school loan debt? It might hurt, but I know several people who spent several years taking and retaking the MCAT before they made high enough to get into a school. They were able to get over their initial rejection and either moved on or buckled down and studied harder to make better the next time around. When was the last time you heard of an out-of-work doctor who hadn't committed malpractice or committed a crime? When was the last time you heard of a doctor who made less than $75K-$80K/year (I don't have the actual stats, but I've never seen a doctor having to seriously pinch their pennies once they get finished with their residency, I mean, they may be distraught over having to 'settle' for their Mercedes instead of the Porsche) even if they work in BFE Eastern Oregon or the MS Delta? Is it to much to ask for the ABA to regulate the number of lawyers entering law school so that a graduating lawyer can feel relatively safe that (should they pass the bar) they'll find a job paying them $50K/year starting out? $40K? With the way non-legal employers run from a law graduate, it's the least the ABA could do. Hell, even law firms jobs seeking assistants run like hell from a law graduate.
And now let's ramble on about UO Law Career Services. What's their purpose? They have a booklet of resumes and cover letters you can look at, and they set out sheets for on-campus interview signups. You walk into the office seeking guidance and if you are outside the top 20% (hey, that's like 80% of the people you are supposed to be helping), they just say "it's gonna be tough, you just gotta get out there and apply". Wow, sage advice indeed. The top 20% are gonna get themselves hired with or without career services, unless they are social Neanderthals, career services should be judged by how many of the other 80% get hired. Why doesn't career services work like a recruiting agency? Is it too much for Jane or Merv to pick up a phone and call a former UO law student and say "hey, we have a current UO student here who is looking for a summer intern position in _________ law, think you might have some work for them?" Guaranteed that would establish a much stronger tie between past students and the school, not to mention it would be much more beneficial than just saying "we don't have a list of attorneys on file, but you can look them up online." Isn't your job to get people hired? Me sending a cover letter and a resume to someone who isn't planning on hiring any summer help isn't going to do anything, but you establishing a repertoire with them so that each year they are looking to work with some current UO law students is huge and beneficial. You are career services, your job is to get people jobs, yet all you do is work for the top 20% and leave the 80% who need your help the most to do the job on their own.
Now I get to go back to sitting in a mini storage office from 9-5 by myself watching day time television, and begging anyone and everyone with any kind of real job to give me a chance, while most people gawk in amazement at the lawyer who can't find any kind of relevant work (hey, we are a dime a dozen these days people). At least I now have a GRE to study for, if $37K/year for biomedical engineers with their masters is a low-ball offer, then maybe I can at least make more than the local DA when I get out. I just hope someone is willing to pay for my school this time around.
Anyone that has any experience dealing with bankruptcy want to advise me whether filing for bankruptcy or just defaulting on my loans would be more beneficial?
The Tycoon
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