Vagina Dentata...Fact or Fiction?

So watching the movie "Teeth" earlier this week has me mortified of vaginas. I've been extensively researching online in search of any evidence of actual vagina dentata. Well guys, bad news, vagina dentata is alive and well...and MAN-made. Meet every man's biggest fear: RAPEX. I encourage all male readers to check before diving straight in next time, otherwise you'll experience an awkward visit to the emergency room to get the teeth surgically removed.

Upon this disturbing discovery, my first thought was "When would a woman actually use this?" I'd love to hear feedback from lady followers (all 2 of you). I mean, when does a woman anticipate rape enough that she is able to slip in the RAPEX device? Is it when you are at the bar and start to feel a little too hammered? Is it when you have that first date with the creepy guy you met and said you'd go out with while you were blacked in the wee hours of a saturday morning? Is it at all times? And my second question is, what happens if your fingers slip when putting in the RAPEX device? I can only assume if a finger slips in there, it treats the finger the same way as a weiner, which while not as important of an extremity, would still be very painful.

As for the movie "Teeth", the film just chews up the screen. Funny script, absurd and awesome plot, interesting psychological analysis, B-movie acting, and some of the best wiener decapitation scenes you'll ever see. Seriously, each one of them is uniquely awesome and hilarious and painful. Whether it be the first victim who bleeds to death, or the 2nd victim who has a smaller weiner and squirts blood all over his bed, or the 3rd victim (and step brother) whose weiner is eaten by his dog, "Teeth" never fails to deliver the goods. Overall, I give "Teeth" a solid A- rating and highly encourage any of you looking for something to watch to check it out.

This was an exciting week in my mini storage tycoon growth...my first foreclosure sales!!!!!!! Nothing hardens a tycoon's skin like having to stand up to renters who are $600 behind on their mini storage bills, when they are proposing that they just pay $100 today, and 'guarantee' they'll bring in the rest of their payment next week. It was a tremendous learning experience to judge which renters were being truthful and which ones were fibbing. Not to mention the excitement of waking up early on a Saturday morning and being at the mini storage to auction off units. Basically, I feel as though I am finally a true mini storage tycoon. I finally have a place is this cold, strange, unfair, demoralizing world.

Always checking with his finger first,
The Tycoon