Success

–noun

1.	the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.

2.	the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

3.	a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.

4.	a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.

5. the opposite of The Tycoon

The rumors are true Loyal Followers, The Tycoon is unemployed (again). The mini storages have been bought out and I was deemed unworthy of continued employment. Perhaps it was my incessant desire (need?) to watch my favorite porn movies* on my computer everyday. Or maybe it was my failed attempts to woo mini storage renters into entering a personal relationship with me. But probably it was due to the fact that I just didn't care about showing up until 15 minutes late everyday. I think they could tell my love for mini storaging was waning as the economy was making it apparent a worldwide domination was further away than I was willing to wait. But seriously. I was laid off from mini storages. Does life get any lower?

*Don't judge me. It's an addiction. If I was employed, I'd be joining David Duchovny in rehab for my addiction. Though I must admit when I heard he was going to rehad for a "sex addiction" I was pretty disappointed it was because he liked porn. Being that he's a famous actor and used to bang Scully behind the scenes on the X-Files, I was hoping that his addiction would be something much more exotic than porn. Anyone can be addicted to porn. Only famous men can actually have enough random sex that it qualifies as an "addiction". Yet David seems to not even be using him famous man powers, instead just sneaking out of bed to watch some late night porn on the computer like any other common guy. Bummer.

Monday I will venture to Starkville's unemployment office to see if I qualify. I hope Obama wins the election, cause all they keep telling me he'll be on the corner with a stack of $100s so that I won't have to work!! Keep your fingers crossed for The Tycoon as he aimlessly wanders through life searching for all the right answers.

Dear Lint,

I am sorry about referring to you as an "asshole" in my last post. I meant it as a term of endearment, not that I thought you were actually one. I am sorry about that time I called you fat. I know you were just big boned and had a lot of fur. I am sorry about the time I caught you and Other Kitty making love and embarrassed you. But most of all, I am sorry I never told you I loved you.

There is an empty shoebox in my heart and by the foot of my bed waiting for you to return. It's lonely being at home now with Other Kitty and Bobblehead Greg Oden as my only remaining friends. I need you.

Love,
The Tycoon

Loyal followers, we will be holding a candlelight vigil on the MSU drill field Friday September 18, 2008, at 9 pm. Please come out and show your support for Lint's return.

And because I said I'd provide them...say "hello" to the initial installment of Tycoon Tunes. The files are all 128 AAC for optimal iPod/iTunes compatibility. If you want to bitch about less than optimal quality: "fuck you". Also, each tracklisting has been carefully crafted to maximize listening experience.

Tycoon Tunes: Jamming Beats from 2007, Vol. 1

http://www.mediafire.com/?wtjyxguiu0m

1. Panda Bear - Comfy in Nautica
2. Justice - D.A.N.C.E.
3. No Age - Everybody's Down
4. Devo - Watch Us Work It
5. Au - Boute <~~~ sweet Portland band for those of you West Coasters to peep
6. Phosphorescent - Wolves
7. Ryan Adams & the Cardinals - If I Am a Stranger
8. King Khan & the Shrines - Welfare Bread
9. LCD Soundsystem - North American Scum
10. Busdriver - Casting Agents and Cowgirls
11. C Rayz Walz & Sharkey - Electric Avenue
12. Les Savy Fav - Patty Lee
13. Animal Collective - For Reverand Green
14. A Place to Bury Strangers - Missing You
15. Radiohead - Reckoner
16. Ultra Orange & Emmanuelle - Don't Kiss Me Goodbye
17. Handsome Furs - Dead + Rural
18. Ulrich Schnauss - A Song About Hope

Tycoon Tunes: Jamming Beats from 2007, Vol. 2

http://www.mediafire.com/?d1mtol5jggo

1. Jens Lekman - And I Remember Every Kiss
2. Avey Tare & Kira Brekken - Lay Lay Off, Fosalem
3. Au Revoir Simone - Night Majestic
4. Amon Tobin - Esther's
5. Dälek - Paragraphs Relentless
6. Boris with Merzbow - Pink (live)
7. Psychedelic Horseshit - Nothing Is Revealed <~~~~~~~~ best band name ever
8. Times New Viking - Hiding in Machines
9. Carsick Cars - Zhong Nan Hai <~~~~~~~~~~ best Chinese band on the planet
10. Sonic Youth - I'm Not There
11. Liars - Pure Unevil
12. Animal Collective - Fireworks
13. Ryan Adams - Everybody Knows
14. Samamidon - Little Satchel
15. Tinariwen - Matadjem Yinmixan
16. The Fiery Furnaces - Clear Signal from Cairo
17. Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings - Answer Me
18. Okkervil River - Title Track

Tycoon Tunes: Jamming Beats from 2007, Vol. 3

http://www.mediafire.com/?d2nntnndjuf

1. No Age - Every Artist Needs a Tragedy
2. Of Montreal - Suffer for Fashion
3. Wooden Shjips - We Ask You To Ride <~~~~~~ yes the band name is spelled right
4. Chromeo - Tenderoni
5. Liars - Houseclouds
6. Panda Bear - Take Pills
7. Architecture in Helsinki - Hold Me
8. Björk - Innocence
9. Jens Lekman - A Postcard To Nina <~~~~~ this song = \m/
10. The Wombats - Lost in the Post
11. Los Campesinos! - You! Me! Dancing! <~~~~~~ really does make you want to dance
12. Black Diamond Heavies - White Bitch
13. Radiohead - Bangers & Mash
14. Arcade Fire - (Antichrist Television Blues)
15. Farah - Law of Life <~~~~~~~ my jam
16. Electrelance - Five
17. Antony & The Johnsons - Knockin' on Heaven's Door <~~~~~~ this version of this song would make Jesus cry...seriously.

Leave ratings for my Tycoon Tunes in the comments. Just remember to go easy on me, having a better music taste than you is all I got.

Come home Lint.

The Tycoon

An APB For Lint!!

Loyal followers! I have a dire situation! Lint has disappeared! No seriously, I haven't seen him since late Sunday/early Monday. I am putting together a search team to scour the neighborhood tonight. Please report to my house ASAP if you can participate. And if you want to look for Lint solo, he is often aloof and indifferent and quite frankly a bit of an asshole. In other words, most chicks would find him attractive, so if you see a lot of hot pussies hanging around, Lint is probably there pimping. Here is a recent photo of Lint:



In other news, I have gotten behind on my renewed blogging due to my participation in an online NCAA 2009 XBOX 360 Dynasty with 3 other loser...i mean gamers. Among them: James Taylor (yes, that James Taylor):



Brad Miller (yes, that Brad Miller):


nice rows Brad.

And Cullen.

Little does anyone know that I have battled through over half this season with not 1, but 2 severe paper cuts to my thumbs. At times I have had to use my big toes amongst other body parts on the joysticks due to my thumbs being in such agony. Despite these injuries and setbacks, I have managed to finish the season with the North Carolina Tar Heels 7-5, better than the the pre-seasons top 25 Wake Forest Demon Deacons Piloted by Brad Miller. Not once did I complain about my injuries, even when pressured by James Taylor, Brad Miller, and Cullen to get in my game, because when it comes down to it, football players are tough and so are their leaders.

Finally, I know I said I have some mixtapes coming, and I really do, but my external hard drive is PMSing, so we gotta get her in order.

The Tycoon