Signs Of Becoming A True Tycoon

Over the last couple of weeks, circumstances have led me to ponder my future as a tycoon. Attempts to expand my empire have failed miserably and left me doing some serious soul searching. I have asked God to show me a sign whether my future was in mini storage tycooning or utilizing my 7 years of higher education as a lawyer and engineer. Well God has shined down on me with a bevy of reasons to stick with tycooning.

First and foremost, this is my first blog posting from my "new" badass laptop. How did I come into possession of a year old Dell Inspiron 9300? Well, let's just say the Mini Storage Fairy was in an extra giving mood this week. And I'd also like to give partial thanks to Cedric abandoning his mini storage unit and effectively donating his computer to my cause. Yes I have a cause now. My cause is to reinitiate my expansion plans, this time focusing on the west coast instead of the mid-Atlantic region of the east coast. East coasters are kinda assholes anyway. So anyway, back to this laptop, it's all wide screened and shiz without any of the smudges gathered from 4 years of old laptop usage, which not only makes watching netflix online way more awesome, but it increases the enjoyment of my adult video watching. It's like going from watching porn on an old-school curved screen 20" TV to experiencing it on a brand new 50" plasma in HD. I can only assume assume that this computer was sent as the first of many gifts that the mini storage promises to bear should I stick with my tycooning plans. At the very minimal, it was an awfully enticing trap. As for now, I assume that God showered me with this gift to signal that mini storage tycooning was indeed my future and that my 7 years of education were irrelevant.

Secondly, I have accepted and adapted to a lack of social life. In fact, I prefer 94% of my 'human' interaction to be through text messaging, cell phone calls, and e-mails. I actually fear actual human contact. Yeah, I deal with accepting payments and signing leases, but I most prefer the hours of isolation free of renters. At first I craved human contact, especially on the weekends. Now I'd rather settle in with a couple of Netflix movies, Other Kitty, and some alcohol.

Finally, I have actually convinced myself I could write a movie script about a law educated guy who can't find a job and spends his days couch bouncing from friend to friend. There would be a serious of shenanigans of the main character going out and spending the night drinking water (no money) in the corner of the bar alone (no self-confidence) while his friends spent the night chasing ladies, and upon returning 'home' our lovable loser would sleep on a couch/air mattress while listening to his current host and his lady for the night. Just when things appeared to have hit rock bottom, our anti-hero would land a dream job, while karma exacted revenge on his tormentors. I think it'd work. That's obviously a very rough plot outline, but you can piece together what I'm getting at.

Anyone watching the NBA playoffs think that Sasha Vujacic looks like Aldous Snow from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"??





I keep watching Lakers' games and expecting Sasha to break out the air humping and start singing "We Got To Do Something" or "Inside You". By the way, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is pretty damn solid. You get to see Jason Segel's weiner (which has inspired me to write in a penis baring scene into my blossoming film project) and see a Dracula musical in action, which while sounds lame is actually kinda outstanding.




Doing Something,
The Tycoon