Cupid Comes to the Mini Storage?

Phew! The last few days have been INSANE at the mini storages, but thanks to the many glowing reviews written by my loyal followers, we have reached maximum capacity at the mini storages. And forgive me while I gloat for a moment, but the office I was running this week was the 1st location to fill up. The locals have started calling me "the closer". It's one thing to have someone enter the office seeking a storage place, but it's another thing when I can make them feel the urgency to rent the storage space on the spot.

But let me tell y'all the story of one renter in particular. She was my 1st visitor of the day and a mother coming in to rent a unit for her daughter. Our conversation progressed naturally from mini storage talk to career paths to being single. Upon finding out that I am a lawyer looking to expand my mini storage empire to a major city, she began laying the foundation for her daughter to latch on to such a successful tycoon, saying that her daughter wants to move to a major city when she graduates, and even saying that when her daughter comes out there, she was gonna tell her to come see me in the office. I am still waiting. But it was as she was leaving that she said something truly remarkable: "They weren't lying when they said 'come for the storage, stay for the eye candy'". I was speechless. I'm still holding out hope that Cupid shoots an arrow the mini storage's way. It's been a long, lonely road to hoe in Starkville.

Now we are on to a couple of more Congressional campaign commercials in Mississippi. One of them I can't even remember who it is for, but the Republican candidate goes on and on about the Democratic opponent, equating him to Nancy Pelosi. It goes on to say her ideas "may be groovy in California, but that dog don't hunt in Mississippi." I thought this was pretty humorous especially given the "groovy" was spelled on the TV in wavy purple letters. Furthermore, one of the Greg Davis ads against Travis Childress is even more ridiculous. Watch:



How the fuck do you even use this Rev. Wright dumbass to a House Representative candidate in Mississippi? I mean, the sad thing is that this ad will actually affect people's decisions. Not only do you have to take responsibilities of your own contacts, you also have to take responsibilities of your contacts' contacts. The fact that people buy into these ads as factors in their final decisions is pretty indicative of the ignorance of most Americans. No wonder the country is in a downward spiral, we allow attenuated connections and middle names affect our decisions more than actual issues. George W owned the Texas Rangers when they signed Jose Canseco, who many knew was doing steroids, but they turned a blind eye, therefore one may surmise that W probably knew or should have known Jose was doing the juice, yet he turned a blind eye. Thus, anyone who has ever received an endorsement by the Republican party is obviously OK with cheating and lying, right? Ridiculous I know, but that's the kinda shit people buy into.

Did you know that "man boobs" are an actual medical condition? Called gynecomastia.

Finally, because it's been such long, lonely stretch in Starkville, I've recently debated sucking up the pride and joining either eHarmony or Match.com. I've heard they are goldmines for desperate women looking for successful dudes! My proposal is that we all join eHarmony, and then compete for the most ladies (or men if that's your thing) per week or month. We can even have a Tycoon League fantasy draft. A scoring system would look something like 1 point per date, 2 points per kiss, and 4 points for setting off the fireworks. Obviously, we can tweak the system as need be. Also, I propose that each team consists of 1 guy, 1 girl, and 1 util spot, which 2 bench spots. The league can be a weekly head-to-head league. Knowing that a team member has several dates lined up for the week but is a bit 'poonshy' is kinda like having a mediocre 2 start pitcher in fantasy baseball. Do you go for the sure couple of points with the 2 start pitcher while chancing that he fails, or do you go with your stud even though he has only 1 start lined up?

I think we are on to something here.

Fighting cancer one beating at a time,
The Tycoon

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