Rolling a Donut :(

Today was a bad day loyal followers. I rolled a donut at the mini storage today. In mini storage tycoon lingo, "rolling a donut" means that during the entire day, you had no office visitors. I fielded phone calls and received payments in the mail, but I failed to lure a single visitor into my storage mecca. To say it was a long, lonely day in the office is an understatement. But I think a day like today can actually help many people. When an iconic figure such as myself can suffer through a long, miserable, unsuccessful day, then anyone can suffer through a day like that. You just got to keep your head up and get ready for those customers tomorrow. Maybe if someone would help out with some sparkling mini storage reviews on google I wouldn't sit alone all day watching Today, Family Feud, Price is Right, Jeopardy, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, Montel, Tyra, Dr. Phil, and Maury.

On the bright side, I was able to ponder many random thoughts throughout the long boring day. Apparently there is a restaurant in Greenville, MS that is going to be featured on the Food Network that has a specialty of ribs on pancakes. Yes, ribs + pancakes. Anyone want to meet me for lunch? I can only imagine it's like Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, but better. How do I know it's better? Well, ribs >>>> fried chicken, and pancakes >>>> waffles, therefore ribs + pancakes >>>>>>>>>>> chicken + waffles. And Roscoe's is pretty damn delicious in case you've never had it.

One of the new cosmetic surgeries among the rich and famous is vagina reconstructive surgery, where surgeons tighten a woman's vagina to its tightness prior to her having children or before she had sex with several hundred men. Anyway, am I wrong to think a surgeon in this area could really attract some customers with the slogan "Hit It Again For The 1st Time"?

In Dear Abbey today, a daughter wrote in saying she was tired of the family business and wanted out. Should I write in encouraging her to stick with it? Also, another woman wrote in concerned because her husband always takes the family out for lunch after Church on Sundays and charges the meal on his credit card. She admits that she's "not that 'up' on how credit cards work," but she knows that eventually they'll have to pay off the credit card eventually. She doesn't even know if her husband pays off the credit card each month. I mean is she 14? She's old enough to have a family, and still doesn't know how credit cards work? Good Lord. And she's got kids?? Awesome.

Finally, I spent my afternoon bargaining on the phone with the local t-shirt printers and came to a Tycoon exclusive deal. First of all, here is the proposed final design:


Front



Back

The shirts will only be $17 and that'll include your shipping. I'll set up a PayPal account for those interested. You can send me an e-mail at j.wade.miles@gmail.com to give me your mailing info and shirt size. Really, I just have a dream of having a picture of myself on a couple dozen t-shirts spread across the country. I expect these to be worn with pride. By the way, for those of you avoiding writing a mini storage review, the quote on the back of the t-shirt came directly from a recent mini storage review written by a TRUE loyal follower. Maybe next time, YOUR quote will make it onto a t-shirt. The first step in reaching those heights is writing your own review, so put on those thinking caps and get to work.

And I'll leave my loyal followers with another sampling of my less than manly white guy dance music


Justice - D.A.N.C.E.

Getting ready to take the world by storm in Starkville,
The Tycoon